You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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