THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
did you just send me my own nude
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
