yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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