I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she smelled like a LAN party
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
