So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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