Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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