Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize