Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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