it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
