you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize