I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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