i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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