wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
