nut hugger
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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