i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
