first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
