and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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