i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
