It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
