I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
