You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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