Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
