So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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