I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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