can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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