Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
