I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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