So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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