did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
