I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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