is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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