He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
