whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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