in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
