take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize