put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
how does that bad decision feel?
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