Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
