I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
