I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
