After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
