They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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