Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
