She announced her abortion via fbk
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
