He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
