Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
