exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
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I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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