Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
