All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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