i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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