Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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