I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby