Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My penis needs a shock collar
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom