Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You have to summon your inner elephant
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.