no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
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walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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