I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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