My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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