Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
