what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
