i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
