He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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