Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
