Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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