He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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