Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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