She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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