so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
