wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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