tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
