that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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