I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
