just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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