FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
