I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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